Take Me As I Am
by Meredith T. Tasaki
Summary: Summary? Basically, Ash, Misty, Jessie, and James are followed around by a bunch of freaks who have crushes on 'em...
1. ~

Take Me As I Am  
  
By Meredith  
  
NOTE: I do NOT own Pokemon... Or anything else it's obvious I do not own... ^^;   
  
NOTE TWO: I had to split this up into two chapters. It was getting too long... Sorry. ^^;   
  
~*~  
  
The doorbell rang.  
  
Sighing, Misty opened the door. As an elite-four member in training, she had been provided a   
small (VERY small) house by the Pokemon League--right next to the other trainees' gift houses. And lately, the doorbell had been ringing more and more often.  
  
"Danny," she said, with no enthusiasm.  
  
The Orange Island Gym Leader stood grinning on her doorstep, boquet of roses in his hands.   
"Hello, Misty--"  
  
"Stuff it," she sighed, and slammed the door. "Oh, tell the conglameration of hopeful suitors out   
there that I saw them fighting, and I think they should go jump off of a very high cliff with a lot of   
thornbushes in the bottom. Also, tell them to GET OFF OF MY LAWN!!!" she yelled through   
the door.  
  
"What? But Misty..." Danny's muffled voice came.   
  
"LEAVE!! I AM NOT INTERESTED!!" she screamed.  
  
She heard the fifteen men hiding in the bushes shuffle off to find lodging for the night.   
  
"AND DON'T COME BACK!!" she yelled.  
  
Ever since her picture had been shown in Pokemon Trainers' Monthly, there were more   
prospective boyfriends coming to her house every day. At first, it had been funny, but now... She sighed.   
  
"Now I'm thinking of becoming a nun," she finished aloud.   
  
She heard the by-now familiar sound of footsteps on the path. She looked out the window.  
  
A man, draped in a long black cloak that completely obscured his featured, was walking up the   
path.  
  
All of a sudden, she heard screams.  
  
"Oh crud!" the man yelled. He ran towards the house.  
  
A horde of screaming girls was stampeding after him.  
  
"Darn you Saffron psychic ditzes!!" he yelled. "Pikachu, Thundershock-- and no, you may NOT   
kill them!"  
  
"Pi..." A Pikachu said reluctantly. It threw off the part of the cloak obscuring it. "Pi...ka...  
CHUUU!!!" it yelled, sending a bolt of electricity into the screaming mob.   
  
The man turned and rang the doorbell frantically. Misty opened the door.   
  
"Please, for the love of the Leauge, Misty, let me in before those maniacs wake up!!" he pleaded   
frantically, shooting glances at the floored conglameration.  
  
She smiled. "Okay, Ash." She let him in and quickly slammed the door.  
  
Ash Ketchum grinned as Misty threw a ridiculous number of bolts into place. "Thanks. Those   
girls are nuts."  
  
"Don't mention it," she said, grinning.  
  
"So, are you afraid of burglars or do you have a fan club too?" he asked, smiling wryly and  
gesturing towards the many bolts.  
  
She grimaced. "Fan Club. Unofficial, but they know where I live."  
  
"I hate the media," Ash sighed, dropping into a chair.  
  
"Pika pika!" Pikachu agreed.  
  
Misty sat down. "Honestly, there are some screwballs in this world!"  
  
"Yeah? Well, at least _yours_ take a break at night." Ash rolled his eyes bitterly. "I can't even   
SLEEP anymore!"  
  
"Why?" Misty asked. "They make too much noise?"  
  
"No...They have lockpickers." He hung his head.  
  
"Oh my gosh..." Misty's eyes were wide with sympathy. "What do they do?"  
  
"Well, either I get woken up by the sound of Pikachu frying a horde, or I get woken up by   
someone kissing me." Ash gagged.  
  
"Not French?" Misty asked, eyes wide.  
  
Ash nodded sadly.  
  
Misty put her hand to her mouth. "My god..."  
  
"And those darn Saffron chicks can always figure out when it's me leaving and not just an intern I paid twenty bucks to lure 'em away." Ash sighed. "It's pathetic."  
  
"Amen to that!"  
  
"So..." Ash looked at her. "Can I please, please, PLEASE stay here tonight? I really need a   
night's sleep without worrying about insane girls getting through the door..."  
  
"I can tell," Misty said wryly. The bags under Ash's eyes had not escaped her notice--and, for   
that matter, neither had his eyes themselves. They spoke of simple desperation for being left  
alone."Yeah, you can. If you don't mind sleeping on the couch, that is."  
  
He looked at her gratefully. "Misty, at this point I would sleep on pointy rocks on the ocean floor with Tentacruels stinging me if it meant I'd get away from those--those DEMONS." He moved his head, gesturing towards the front lawn, where undoubtably the girls were still.  
  
"Okay, then." Misty grinned.  
  
Ash sighed in relief. "Oh, thank god. If I'd had to have those girls break in one more night..." He shuddered. "I don't even want to THINK about what I'd have let Pikachu do to them."  
  
She stared at him in amazement. "Good lord, I hope MINE never get that bad..."   
  
"Pika!"  
  
"He says you should." Ash yawned. "So I really hope you don't mind if I just go to sleep on the couch..." He laid down on the couch and took his cloak off, using it as a blanket.  
  
"Oh, of course not, Ash!" Misty exclaimed. "...Ash?"  
  
"Pikachu."   
  
Through knowing Pikachu for so long, seeing a natural reply to her question, and intuition, she knew Pikachu had said, "He's asleep."   
  
"My gosh..." she breathed. "He's really been pushed to the edge, hasn't he?"  
  
"Pika."  
  
She knew that meant yes.  
  
Misty heard the fangirls screaming outside. She stalked up to a window and opened it.   
  
"SHUDDUP, YOU CRAZY WITCHES, OR I'LL CALL THE COPS ON YA!!" she screamed. She slammed the window down, locking it. She made sure that all of the windows and doors were locked before she went to her room.  
  
'Will this happen to me?', she couldn't help wondering. She kept thinking of poor Ash, stalked so much that he couldn't even sleep. And the police... They would come in, certaintly. But there were so many of the girls that there was always a new group, and there wasn't enough room to keep them all in jail. So...  
  
So Ash was haunted. Even so, he had managed to still be Ash somehow, instead of going insane, or losing himself through all of the fustration.  
  
Her mind was filled with thoughts like those for a while, but finally, exhasution set in, and Misty fell asleep...  
  
~*~  
  
"AAH! JESSIE JESSIE SAVE ME!!"  
  
Jessie woke up with a start. "Oh no! Not again!"  
  
"Meowth, I'm guessing that's right!" Meowth said sarcastically.  
  
Jessie threw on some normal clothes and stormed off to where she'd heard James's voice.   
  
"Now look son, you are going to marry Jessiebelle whether you like it or not!" James' father said.  
  
"I don't like it, I don't like it!" James whined.  
  
"But Jamesy honey, don't you see that Jessiebelle is your perfect match?" James' mother said.   
  
"NO!"  
  
"Well, I am, James sweetie, so you just sit tight! Don't worry, we know what's best for you!"  
  
Jessie ran.  
  
"BUT MMPPPPH!!"  
  
"Now James, don't be stubborn," his mother warned.  
  
"HE WILL IF HE WANTS TO BE!!" Jessie burst into the clearing, eyes afire.  
  
"Aw no, not you again," Jessiebelle moaned.  
  
"YES, me again!" Jessie yelled. "And as long as you try to--to FORCE James into this, I _WILL_ BE THERE!"  
  
James, bound to a chair and gagged, managed to hop over to Jessie's side of the clearing. What with his nutty parents and Team Rocket training, he had become quite good at it.  
  
"Now do you leave, or does Arbok put you in the hospital again?" Jessie said, her voice dangerously sweet.  
  
They glared at her.  
  
"Does that mean hospital?" she asked sweetly.  
  
Suddenly, Jessiebelle threw down a smoke bomb, and they were gone.   
  
"Make no mistake, James-honey, we WILL be back for ya!" Jessiebelle called sweetly.  
  
Jessie sighed as she untied James. "I can't believe they found us AGAIN! You'd think they'd have the sense to quit--no, actually, thinking about it, they're MUCH too stupid to do THAT. Darn."  
  
As soon as James could speak again, he said, "I think they're in touch with your fan club. They'd never manage to track us on their own. They're too..._rich_ to wander through the forest."  
  
Jessie groaned. "WONderful! We can't get rid of those freaks, we can't get rid of the other freaks. And now they're banding together."  
  
"I'm almost starting to want to--to just marry her already. This is too much."   
  
"JAMES!" Jessie screamed. "You will NOT marry that whip-happy witch!! You KNOW what she would do to you! You are NOT marrying her and that is FINAL!!"  
  
"Okay, okay!" James said quickly.  
  
"Don't worry, James," Jessie said softly, looking into his eyes. "We _will_ get out of this, I swear."  
  
"I hope so..." James looked off into the distance.  
  
~*~  
  
Ash slowly opened his eyes. "Oh, hi Misty," he said. "Sorry, I must have dozed off. What were we saying?"  
  
Misty looked at him. "...Ash, you were asleep for three days."  
  
"WHAT?!" he yelled. He jumped up. "Oh my gosh! I missed the planning meeting, and the briefing, and the Gym report, and the--"  
  
"Ash!" Misty interuppted. "Don't worry! I got notes for you!"  
  
"Oh my gosh, I missed so much--WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP?!"   
  
"ASH KETCHUM, YOU REALLY _DON'T_ HAVE ANY SENSE, DO YOU?!?!" Misty screamed. "You NEEDED that!! I didn't wake you up because you NEEDED THE BREAK!! Good LORD, Ash!!"  
  
"Well..." Ash scratched his head. "I guess...maybe...I did need that." He grinned apologetically. "Thanks."  
  
"No problem." She grinned.  
  
"But man, what is everyone going to think?" he said, horrified.  
  
"Probably that I'm your girlfriend--which would solve all our problems, probably, now that I come to think of it." Misty raised her eyebrows.  
  
Ash laughed. "You want to be dead? The fan clubs would probably kill us!"  
  
Misty brightened. "Maybe they'd kill each other!"  
  
He laughed again. "I wish!"   
  
"Yeah!" They laughed for a while. Then, Ash sighed.   
  
"Well, here comes the hurricane... Pikachu, we'd better get to the office. How much of a head start can you give me without killing the morons?"  
  
"Pika!"  
  
"Five minutes? That's all?" Ash sighed. "Well, I guess it'll have to do." He took out a Pokeball. "Pidgeot, I choose you!"  
  
His Pidgeot had come back to him just before he won the Championship. It had wanted to make sure that there were a couple of other Pidgeots to guard the flock before it resigned and came back to Ash.  
  
"Okay, Pidgeot, I'm going to open the door. Pikachu will take out the nuts temporarily, and we'll have to jump on fast before they wake up. Think you can get us to the office in five minutes?" Ash asked.  
  
"Pidgeooooo!" Pidgeot said, slightly miffed.  
  
"Yeah, I thought you could," Ash said, grinning."Okay, let's go!"   
  
Just before he opened the door, he grinned at Misty. "Thanks, Mist!"  
  
"You're welcome!" she replied sincerely.  
  
"Okay, one, two, THREE!!" Ash yelled, flinging open the door on three.  
  
"PI-KA-CHU!!" Pikachu said quickly.  
  
There were a number of screams from the girls, as well as from Rudy, who had apparently been walking towards the door.  
  
"Pika!" Pikachu called as they flew off.   
  
"He says no charge!" Ash translated, his voice quickly fading as Pidgeot soared upwards.  
  
"Thank you Pikachu, Ash! Goodbye!" she called.   
  
She couldn't be sure if they had heard her as Pidgeot flew away...  
  
~*~  
  



	2. ~

Take Me As I Am  
  
~By Meredith  
  
NOTE ONE: I don't own Pokemon OR Faith Hill... Wow... ^^; Okay, that sounded strange...  
  
NOTE TWO: Sorry I had to split this up. It got too long.  
  
NOTE THREE: About the toaster and the bathtub thing... KIDS, DO NOT TRY THAT AT HOME! IT WOULD KILL YOU!! Um... So don't do that, and don't sue me. ^^; Thank you.  
  
~*~  
  
  
*Three Weeks Later*  
  
"Misty, I swear I will give you anything that you want!" a man pleaded.  
  
"Well, I _want_ you to LEAVE ME ALONE!!" she screamed.  
  
"But--"  
  
"TOGETIC!! GET HIM!!" Misty screamed.  
  
"Toki!" Togetic teleported the man away.  
  
Misty sighed, leaning abainst the brick wall.   
  
"Man," she sighed to Togetic, "I can't even go out anymore..."  
  
"Toki," Togetic said sympehetically.  
  
"I mean, they all seem to think that if they give me enough roses, I'll fall head-over-heels for 'em. And they don't really even care that I don't like them! They're in love with a picture! They'd sure be surprised if they ever DID manage to suceed..."  
  
"Toki toki!" They'd probably divorce you within a week!  
  
She glared at the Pokemon.  
  
It said hurriedly that it had only MEANT that they would be surprised by her.   
  
"I know..." Misty sighed. "I just can't do this anymore."  
  
"Toki?" Togetic questioned worriedly.  
  
"There's only one way to get out of this..." Misty murmured. "Well, maybe there's two, but I like the first one better..."  
  
"Toki..."  
  
She recalled Togetic and walked out of the alley.  
  
"Did you hear that?" a voice whispered.  
  
Now that the coast was clear, Jessie, James, and Meowth rose from behind the trash cans.  
  
"What do you think she's going to do?" James asked.  
  
"I don't know..." Jessie said.  
  
"Well, whatever she's doin', she's thoughta one more option than _we_ have, so I suggest we follow 'er and make sure it doesn't involve bullets, rope, or a toaster an' a bathtub," Meowth said.  
  
"Good idea," Jessie said.  
  
~*~  
  
Misty tapped her fingers nervously, phone to her ear. She dropped another quarter in the pay phone, just in case.  
  
"Hello, this is Father Dourgham of the Indigo Catholic Church. How may I help you?"   
  
"Yes," Misty said, "Um.. well... I have all of these boys stalking me, and I don't think they'll give up until I'm dead, married, or..."  
  
"Or a nun?" the priest said.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, are you really that desperate, miss?" he asked. Usually, just telling boys no tends to work."  
  
"Oh trust me, Father, I tried that!" she cried. "But, um, I'm a Protestant....Is that okay?"  
  
"Well...." the priest said doubtfully. "I suppose you can always convert..."  
  
"Oh, thank you!" Misty cried. "What do I have to do?"  
  
"Well... The nuns are coming back from their summer vacation. I can tell them thet you'll be waiting to get on, and they can give you a free ride to the church, and we'll se what happens from there."  
  
"Oh, thank you, Father!" Misty exclaimed gratefully. "Tell them that I'll wait right in front of Cleffa's Cake Shop!"  
  
"You're welcome, my daughter," the priest said. He hung up.  
  
Misty hung up the phone and skipped out of the phone booth, feeling almost free for the first time in far too long.  
  
Below the phone booth, Jessie, James and Meowth were still absorbing what they had heard.   
  
"Nunnery!" Jessie cried. "Brilliant!"  
  
"An' it doesn't involve a gun, eitha!" Meowth exclaimed.  
  
"But Jessie, I'm a man..." James said.  
  
"Well.... Maybe they'll let you in anyway! They let that Las Vegas girl in in that movie, didn't they?" Jessie said.  
  
"She was a woman," James pointed out.  
  
"Well... We'll figure it out when we get there! Let's go!" Jessie yelled.  
  
~*~  
  
Misty stood on the curb in front of Cleffa's Cake Shop.  
  
Suddenly, she saw a figure in a long black cloak walking towards her.  
  
"Ash?" she asked.   
  
He threw down his hood and grinned. "I finally got a Kadabra! Those Saffron dips can't track me now!"  
  
"Yes!" she cried. "Good for you!"  
  
"It's gotten to be at a pretty high level," Ash continued. "High enough to be evolved by trading. So, Kadabra's perfectly willing to be traded back and forth for a bit until we get those nuts off our trail! And the best part is--" He glared slightly at Pikachu. "--No one dies! They just get the dickens scared outta them." Ash grinned.  
  
"Wow, Ash!" Misty said happily.  
  
"So, you in?" Ash asked.  
  
"Um, well, Ash--"  
  
A bus came rambling down the corner.  
  
"Oh no..." Misty went white.  
  
"What?" Ash asked.  
  
"Um...I sort of signed up with a convent..."  
  
"Wha--WHAT?!"  
  
"They agreed to pick me up right here to go in and see if I could become one..."  
  
"Okay..." Ash said. "Why?!"  
  
"I was desperate!"   
  
"I can understand that. But you really want to become a NUN? That's a bit drastic, Mist."  
  
"I don't REALLY want to become a nun!" Misty yelled. "It just seemed like a much better idea than standing in a bathtub full of water, plugging in a toaster, pushing down the knob, and dropping the toaster in!!"  
  
"Well, it was!" Ash yelled.  
  
"Good!!"  
  
"Good!"  
  
"Fine!"  
  
"Fine!"  
  
The bus pulled up. A crotchety-looking nun at the driver's seat opened the door.  
  
"You the one who wanted a lift?" she grated.  
  
"Um..." Misty said. "Look, I'm sorry, but I changed my mind."  
  
"Changed your mind?!" the nun yelled. "I go fifty miles out of my way, and the best excuse you can give me is you changed your mind?!" She slapped her forehead. "You had better find a much better excuse than that, young lady!"  
  
"Um... well..." Misty glanced around frantically. "Um, I'm in love! Yeah!"  
  
"With WHO?" the driver growled.  
  
"Er, him!" Misty said, pointing at the closest man to her... Who of course happened to be Ash.  
  
Ash's eyes went wide. 'Oh no, I have SEEN this TV show... But then, is it really oh NO?... Shut it, Ketchum!...'  
  
"Really?" the lady said.  
  
"Yeah!" Misty said. She quickly grabbed Ash, ducked him, and kissed him square on the mouth.  
  
Ash's eyes went even wider. He let out a few muffled protests. Finally, he just shrugged and closed his eyes, figuring there was nothing he could do, even if he had actually wanted to do something.  
  
Finally, Misty let go. Ash fell unceremoniously to the pavement.  
  
"Pi ka pi, chu?!" A ladies' man, huh?! Pikachu was bursting with laughter.  
  
"Shut up, Pikachu," Ash said, dazed.  
  
"Pika pichu!" A real killer!  
  
"Shut UP, Pikachu..." Ash warned.  
  
"Pika pi ka!!!" Yeah, you're a smooth one!! Pikachu was rolling on the sidewalk, laughing his head off.  
  
"Wah!" Ash sighed.  
  
The bus driver was still slightly stunned. "Don't worry, dear," a nun said, standing up and winking. "It's perfectly all right."  
  
"Oh, thank you," Misty said.  
  
"Goodbye, dearie!" the nun said, closing the door for the driver.  
  
"Goodbye, Sister!" Misty called.  
  
"Gah!" Ash quickly rolled out of the way of the wheels. He was sure he could hear the whole convent laughing kindly.  
  
The bus sped off.  
  
"Well, Misty," Ash said, dusting himself off, "I have to hand it to you for that one...Pretty smooth....Nice excuse..."  
  
"Who said anything about an excuse...?"  
  
Ash blinked. "It wasn't?"  
  
"No," she said.   
  
"It WASN'T?"  
  
"No."  
  
"It wasn't?" he asked Pikachu.  
  
"Pika?" You're asking me?  
  
"I'm asking you."  
  
"I think he really IS asking you," Misty interjected, amused.  
  
"Pi... Pikachu!" Wow.... No it wasn't!  
  
"Okay then!" Ash said.  
  
"..." Misty said. "No 'I Love you too', no 'You're the love of my life'-- Not even a 'Can't we just be friends?'"  
  
"Okay..." Ash said. "Er, I'm not really good at this, but, er, I love you, Mist... Eh heh..." He put his hand behind his head and smiled, embarassed.  
  
"Oh good." Misty smiled.  
  
He kissed her.  
  
"Pi-KA!" Pikachu pumped his fist into the air, in a "YESSS! FINALLY!" gesture.  
  
"Aw man," said a dissappointed voice.   
  
Ash and Misty broke apart.   
  
"_James_?" Ash said incredulously.  
  
"Hey, it's da twerps!" Meowth said.  
  
"Hi, guys!" Ash said. "I haven't seen you since the Elite Four grouping a couple months ago!"  
  
"Yeah, now that we're out of Team Rocket, my parents are following me again," James said morosely.  
  
"And since that stupid Pokemon Trainers' Monthly issue came out, I have a bunch of morons following me around," Jessie griped.  
  
"So, we had ta leave, ta try t'evade dose nuts," Meowth. "Unfortunately, it didn't woik."  
  
"You too?" Ash and Misty chorused.  
  
"Yeah. We heard Misty making the call to the nuns, and we decided it was a great idea," Jessie said.  
  
"But they didn't stop for us!" James whined. "Now we're stuck like this forever!"  
  
Ash and Misty looked at each other and grinned.   
  
"Maybe we can help..."  
  
~*~  
  
There was a knock on the door of the small house, which was small and positioned close to the stadium.  
  
A groggy-looking Ash poked his head out. " 'Lo?"  
  
"Hey, Ketchum! Wake up! you've only got an hour 'till you have to be at the commencement!" Jessie yelled cheerily.  
  
Ash yawned. "Hi, Jessie."  
  
"So anyway, I'm here to return Alakazam..."  
  
James leaned secretively towards Ash. "You might have to take it from her," he whispered. "I think she's fallen in love with it."  
  
"JAMES!"  
  
James threw both hands over his head just as Jessie brought down a very large mallet on the back of his skull.  
  
"Pikachu..." Some things never change...  
  
"Amen to THAT," Ash said.  
  
"What?" Jessie asked.  
  
"Oh, just something Pikachu said," Ash said quickly.  
  
Jessie looked mistrustingly at Ash for a moment, but then smiled. "So, here's Alakazam."  
  
"Thanks!" Ash said. "Oh, by the way... What do you mean, I only have an hour? I have two."  
  
Jessie burst into laughter.  
  
"What?" James and Ash asked simultaneously.  
  
"Guess what, twerp?" Jessie laughed. "We turned the clocks ahead an hour two weeks ago!"  
  
"Oh yeah!" James exclaimed. "I remember now! There was a bet going around the whole Plateau about how long it'd take Ash to realize we had a time change!" He laughed.  
  
"Oh, no!" Ash hung his head.  
  
"Well, I suggest you get ready, twerp!" Jessie said cheerily. "I don't want to get inducted into the Elite Four by a sleepy, dishevled Pokemon Master!" She laughed. "We'd never live it down!"  
  
"Well, neither would I!" Ash yelled.  
  
"Well, we'll leave now, twerp; we don't want to delay your arrival any more than it already will be!" Jessie laughed.  
  
"Goodbye, Ash!" James called sincerely as he and Jessie left.  
  
"Bye, Team Rocket--I mean, Jessie and James!"   
  
"Pikachu?" Hard to remember, huh?  
  
"You said it... Gah! Gotta get ready!"  
  
Ash quickly slammed the door.   
  
~*~  
  
"Hi, Koga!" Misty said. "How's it going?"  
  
"Well, pretty well... You know what I'm going to do now that I'm retiring?"  
  
"No, what?" Misty asked.  
  
Koga folded his hands seriously. "I am going to open..." He threw open a banner. "The Ninja Ice Cream Shop!" Trumpets blared and confetti fell.  
  
"Um..." Misty sweated. "That sounds wonderful!"  
  
"Thank you." He bowed slightly. "Oh! There is the new Poison Master! Excuse me."   
  
"Eh heh, go right ahead..." Misty sighed in relief.  
  
"Koga told you about the ice cream shop, too?" a voice said behind her.  
  
Misty turned. "Oh, hi Brock. Yeah." She grimaced.  
  
Brock grinned. "I thought so. He's been telling everyone about it. And you will NEVER guess who his partner is..."  
  
"Venomoth?"  
  
"No, Lance!"  
  
Misty's eyes went wide. "LANCE?"  
  
"Yeah!" Brock said. "They asked Bruno, too, but he's opening a construction company..."  
  
"Oookkaaayyy..."  
  
Ash ran up to them. "Have you seen Koga? I think he has my notes!"  
  
Misty stared at him. "Ash, we have five minutes, and you don't know where your SPEECH NOTES are?!"  
  
"Oh, no!" Ash said.   
  
Misty sighed in relief.  
  
"I don't have any speech notes! Koga has the program notes," Ash clarified.  
  
Misty fell to the ground. "Ack!"  
  
"Oh wait, there's Koga!" Ash cried. "Hey, Koga!"  
  
"Vanilla-cookie ice cream?" he offered.  
  
Misty put her face in her hand. "Oh lord."  
  
~*~  
  
The stadium was packed. Ash nervously stepped up to the microphone.  
  
"Hello. As the, um, reigning Pokemon Master, I welcome you here, to Indigo Stadium!"   
  
Misty slapped her forehead.  
  
"Now, as you all know, or maybe not, I don't know..." Ash sweatdropped. "Um... We're here to induct the new Elite Four Members, here's Lance, put your hands together!!" Ash quickly stepped back.  
  
"Hi!" Lance said, stepping up to the mike. "Now, I know I seem like a serious guy--" Behind him, Bruno chuckled.   
  
"But I can be very funny given the chance!" He smiled rougishly. "Man, we had to train these new four guys so hard, Bruno was the only one who could do it!!" He grinned and waited.  
  
The only sound in the stadium was crickets.   
  
"Um... Hard... Rocks... Bruno?" Lance tried.  
  
Still silence.  
  
"Okay... Well then, seriously. You may worry about us being kicked out. But don't, we'll be okay. Bruno has a construction company to set up. As for the rest of us... Koga got a great idea! We're all partners in it. So, please visit the Ninja Ice Cream Shop!" He beamed.  
  
The audience roared with laughter.  
  
"Um..." Lance said. "...I wasn't joking..."  
  
A million astonished eyes stared at him.  
  
"...We are... 4144 Ninja Street......"   
  
The audience howled with laughter.  
  
"Aw, the heck with ya! Come on!" Lance stormed out as the audience laughed. A slightly hurt Koga followed him.  
  
"Um..." Ash grabbed the mike. "Well, it's time for the new Elite's leader to make a speech... Since Lance walked out... Eh heh..."  
  
He waited. No one came up.  
  
"Oh yeah! You don't KNOW who's leader yet!" Ash laughed nervously. "I'm sorry, I forgot we're telling you today!"  
  
"Well?!" Misty and Jessie yelled impatiently.  
  
"Um... Okay... James, you get to be the first to face challengers," Ash said. "What type are you using again?"  
  
"Well..." James said. "I have Growly, a Charmeleon, a Gloom, Victreebell, Wheezing, and this cute little Oddish I caught yesterday...." He held it up. "Its name is Oddball!" James beamed.  
  
"Um..." Ash said. "That would be Fire, Poison, and Grass.."  
  
"Okay then!" James said.  
  
"Okay, Jessie, you'll be after James... What types are you doing?"  
  
"Poison," she said. She grinned maliciously.   
  
"Okay!" Ash said. "Misty..."  
  
Misty seemed slightly disappointed.  
  
"...You are NOT next, Brock is the second..." Ash laughed nervously. "I'm willing to bet that's because Brock was too busy staring at Lorelei..."  
  
"Ash!" Brock yelled.  
  
"Sorry, Brock!" Ash said quickly. The audience laughed. "So, you're doing rock, right?"  
  
"Of course," Brock said. "And Steel, too."  
  
"So, Misty, you're the leader!" Ash finished.  
  
"Yesss!" Misty yelled, pumping her fist into the air.   
  
"So, as leader, you have to make a speech..." Ash stepped away from the mike.  
  
"Do I?"   
  
"Yep!"  
  
"Wonderful..." Misty sighed. "Um, okay, I'll do my best... Um... Yeah.... That's all!"  
  
"Oy vey," Ash sighed.   
  
"Hey, Ash Ketchum, I'll have you know you were as bad as I was!"  
  
"Was not!"  
  
"Was too!"   
  
"Was not!"   
  
"Was too!"  
  
"PIKA!!!" Pikachu yelled.  
  
Suddenly, they all remembered that there were a million people staring at them.  
  
"Eh heh..." Ash said. "Thank you for coming, goodbye!"   
  
All of a sudden, the stage was empty.  
  
"Um, Ash, tell me the truth..." Misty asked backstage. "How bad was that?"  
  
"Er..."  
  
"VERY bad," Brock said for him.  
  
"Oh well! It could've been worse!" Ash said.  
  
"How?" Jessie demanded.   
  
"Um..." Ash said. "We could've kissed on the middle of the stage and had everyone in the crowd who has a crush on any of us blow us to bits!" Ash laughed nervously.   
  
"Ha ha, Ash."  
  
"Well, honestly, we weren't all that bad," Ash said. "At least we were honest!"  
  
Everyone glared at him.   
  
"Er... What say we all go to the Ninja Ice Cream Shop to celebrate!" Ash said.  
  
"Are you out of your MIND?" the Elite Four chorused.  
  
"Hey, I tried the sample!" Ash said defensively. "It was actually pretty good!"  
  
"Well... okay," Misty said. "But YOU are paying!"  
  
"Yeah!" Jessie, James and Brock yelled.  
  
"All right, all right!" Ash grinned. "And after that... I can show you this adorable Caterpie I caught!"  
  
"EEEEE!" Misty screamed.  
  
"Just kidding!" Ash said.  
  
"Why YOU!--"  
  
"Waaaaah!" Ash ran.  
  
"Hey, wait up!"   
  
People exiting the stadium thought it was a perfect ending to the strangest ceremony ever recorded in League history-- three of the Elite Four chasing their leader, who happened to be chasing a screaming Pokemon Master with a mallet.   
  
People exiting the stadium also thought that Ash and Misty made an adorable couple, as did Jessie and James. And they were sure that the Ninja Ice Cream Shop would flop enormously.  
  
Well, three out of four isn't bad...  
  
And so, they lived happily ever after...  
  
...Until Koga opened up a pizza shop, that is....  
  
THE END  
  
~*~  
  
An' I don't need a bed of roses,  
'Cause roses wither away;  
All I really need is honesty--  
From someone with a strong heart,  
A gentle hand,  
Who'll take me as I am!  
~Faith Hill, "Take Me As I Am"  
  
  
  
  
~*~ 


End file.
